all these people drinking lover's spit

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 20:46:02 GMT

i saw ladapo today in the union! ladapo is a nigerian exchange student who lived in my dorm last year. he is also the cutest boy everrr in his traditional outfit struttin the espresso royale. he gave me the most genuine smile i have ever known and i forgot all about the smashed dead squirrel i saw earlier which made me almost run into a bus (sorry guys)...

xx cross my fingers xx i get that room otherwise someone is going to have to provide me with lots of weed and grateful dead posters because i'll be living in a stoner room

i am here to quench your thirst

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 05:46:03 GMT

"they have four eyes, they have they have two mouths, they have eight limbs that wrap around themselves in narcissistc self-adoration. it's disgusting yet i can't help but envy them."

we're moving into the new house tomorrow..bright green carpets, what a dream..i always have the worst luck when flipping coins, but i need to get this one room in the house! this room captured my heart when i walked into it!!! pleasepleasepleeaseeplsplz!!!

dreams:
http://www.hypehopewonderland.com/remicover_rgb.jpg

i listen to this song religiously before going to bed every night:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4NVLeUmTqu0
oh dear, who is he singing to? please say it is (me)

"funny how you just break down waiting on a sign"

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 08:31:27 GMT

i haven't listened to them since highschool, but this video is swoonworthy!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Oec8RuwVVs
not only is brandon flowers beautiful running around china town in vests (excuse me, why don't boys wear vests more often?) but there is also the most adorable green monster creature who eventually ends up cuddling with one of the band members at the end and it makes me want to melt into myself!!!

i just want closure
and a cuddly green monster, meowww

*** "the stars are blazing like crippled diamonds cut out from the sun" *** thank you, killers

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:08:24 GMT

**oh summer 2007**
sometimes i need to stop and remind myself that this is the best summer i've ever had...

cuddling kittens at the humane society <3 <3 <3
tucker and his rainbow capes
"sampling" chocolate raisins from the bins at strawberry fields
dips in the fountain by the alumni center
late-night porch gatherings
my roof after we were "over"
three hour shopping trips to meijer grocery store
paper airplanes & the potato couch
food network
let's go to murphy's
history channel with momma
thrifting, sewing
dumpster bread
biking urbana streets at night <3
lemon flavored custard cup
the pond by japan house and bullfrogs <3
pandora radio at work
waking up next to 'someone' :/
sista phone calls at 2am
reading about the mayas until 5am
sushi for the first time!
the boys downstairs, the girls upstairs
stargazing, alone, not alone
cookie dough binges after too much 'consumption'
kiss & hold
spirituality
youtubing outer space
fourwheeling through southern illinois
drunken phone calls :o
blasting peaches in the car
those jalapeno cheese bagels at aroma cafe (delirious)
rootbeer & cranberry drinks
dancing to the faint and MIA nonstop, seriously guys
next morning stories (lol)
allerton park & falling into quicksand
hummus and falafils, mango sticky rice
secret allyways, failing to climb the roof of espresso!
falling off my bike too many times to remember
(i have the worst summer legs, they are literally butchered by my clumsiness!!)
and living with a couple of my best friends everr :)

sorry this is eating your friend's page!
I'M KIND OF MUSHY RIGHT NOW!
{or i'm just trying to forget other things...

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 21:15:29 GMT

i havent posted here in so long!
how many of you still use livejournal? i think i'm going to start updating again, probably because i'm feeling antsy/angsty arrrr...

i just read all my old highschool entries, i can't believe how much of the same person i am :/ ? (i suppose)
anyway, updates coming later, i'll probably go home and redecorate my page...but i'm at work right now shhh!

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 04:00:41 GMT

for a while i forgot about livejournal
...but thats just because my computer is a crack addict.

i'm going away on the 22nd.
seriously, i dont know what to think. the biggest thing i'm thinking of is my mom crying when i leave, its the worst thing for me to see her cry.

i started packing today, and i'm really not bringing much. i feel like i should be packing my whole life for a whole year, and so i am obviously forgetting something/many things

i guess, in truth, i am pretending to be excited.
what i really am is scared.

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 02:41:00 GMT

last night i fell asleep in jahan's room, but we didnt really sleep. instead we talked until dawn and there is something so hypnotizing about talking to the rhythm of thom yorke's voice. then i had to go to the bathroom at 4am and i think i woke up the whole house because my house is like the oldest in northbrook and creaks like crazy and for some reason i always make more noise when i am trying so hard to be quiet.

then, today the two of us went to chicago because we live down there in the summer. 2 hr naps at millenium park. becuase there are a million couples lying together in the grass, but we are better than them. and i think i will miss her more than anyone.

i used to be so excited thinking about college, now i just feel nauseous when i think about it.

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 17:00:45 GMT

cause=time was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and everything else - OMG
but i melted, because i guess i'm wicked.

and, yes, i do indeed have one:
Facebook me!
if i could find you, i added you. hopefully that link works because i'm not so tech savy, but i know how to copy and paste.

hiBeaRnating

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 05:33:11 GMT

i have been in hibernation.

what have i been doing all summer, you ask? i can honestly tell you i have absolutely no idea.

i have become completely obsessed with sylvia plath and am reading the bell jar a second time around. plus i bought a book of her poetry, which is utterly depressing. but for some reason depressing books/poetry is all that can keep my interest. they are the only thing that is real to me.

a miracle has come, i can actually fall asleep without melatonin, my walmart supplied sleeping medicine for insomniacs 101. but only after watching reruns of what not to wear and i love lucy, which are always on at midnight and later. i'll post more tomorrow when my REM cycle is not taking over.

are you a promaholic?

Wed, 25 May 2005 00:50:02 GMT

prom was silly and definetely not as cool as it was hyped up to be. dressing up and eating fondue at the melting pot were the best parts. and it was for sure not worth all the sour attitudes some had about arrangements. obnoxausea! but, as soon as someone cool can send me pics, i will post some because i didnt bring a camera.

Sat, 07 May 2005 00:15:35 GMT

my hair created quite a ruccus today. it decided to do an in-depth case study of the 80s poof. and my face is being rebellious. my clothes completely clash. to sum it up, i look really bad, and THATS OKAY! because i really want my psych book to be turned off when we have our study date this afternoon. hopefully, i will never be asked on another date by it again.

distraction maniA!!!

"where is my mind?"
I AM NOT GETTING MY 5!!!!!

13% redneck

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 02:24:44 GMT

i try very hard to refrain from taking these, but i was curious.

I am 13% White Trash.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

what part of me is 13% white trash? i refuse to see any validity in these online quizzes.
don't go showing off to me that you are 5% white trash, or 2% white trash. because we all know it is not classy to flaunt your non-white trashyness

lovely indeed

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 17:25:04 GMT

the shins concert on thursday night was pure magic. we got there a bit early and so we headed straight to the floor-i was literally about 5 feet away from james mercer! there were some girls in front of me who were so drunk and dancing like crazy, quite entertaining. but then again, i couldnt help but start dancing too, everyone was, it was like some spell.

ahh the beauty. i can't even begin to describe it.

hey hey, i'll be 18 for a day!

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 03:16:49 GMT

what?
i am not 18?
pinback concert for 18+, psh...they consider me a little kid.

i need to obtain a fake id.
hook me up!

i am hysterical?

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 01:27:41 GMT

so it is decided, i will grow to be a bitter old maid
and will remain afraid of the dark into my wrinkled days.

'tis true, the mirror won't lie.
girls are getting asked to prom, an amusing concept, indeed!

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 22:43:40 GMT

i fear my obsession with recycling will go overboard next yr.

for all i know, gbn will rot in environmental hell

i'm just spilling out some crazy colors

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 22:45:41 GMT

i just feel that you have to have to have to give away a part of you to what you love

rrrrrrrrrrrrr <- thats me rolling my r's ware style

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 23:29:34 GMT

i wish i was a kaleidoscope and ppl would look and go aahh (not scared aahh, more like approval aahh). because i am fed up with all the judgemental kids walking around school, making me so self-conscious.

i kind of want to just start over clean. i guess thats what college is for

ELEVEN WEEKS LEFT! (i think)

fake plastic trees

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 00:03:09 GMT

would i be fake and lie and tell someone they were beautiful even if they were not?

few people really want the truth. if i saw what really lay beneath that garbage hill by techny towers i would be hurt. right now we can all pretend that illinois does indeed have gently rolling hills.

blah so blah

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 04:17:27 GMT

second semester...so far so weird. yes, i am being a senior and taking senior foods. but i walked into the classroom only knowing louisa, catherine hamilton-bleh, eugene who likes rammstein, and that holly girl from humanities. everyone else i had seen before, but didnt actually know. it was just...random. but am i really missing out on meeting ppl like them? hmmm..i will have to find out.

then ceramics with more random ppl, like carrie casper, the soph yael, some messed up stoner named david. random.

and of course spanish was most random when we watched arnold schartenagger dubbed in espanol.

then i came home with no hw, even more weird. so i ate food, lifted weights (bc i wanna be buff like arnold), listened to this pj harvey cd from daniella, talked googlism with sneha, and now im here. and i dont know what to do anymore.

i think i'll go read the collector, which i 'rented' from the library bc of many ppl's recommendations.

blah, this is so lame.

my condolences go to the roasted chickens at costco

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 23:31:54 GMT

everyone is gonna think im really stupid. but this bothered me.

i want to boycott costco.

my dad came home from grocery shopping there the other night and said he found out that if they (costco) dont sell their roasted chickens within two hours of cooking them they just throw them away. i have heard of milk spoiling when left out, but not chicken when left in the oven.

well, northbrook is just like milk, it gets spoiled really easily.

oh wait, costco is in glenview, right?

northbrook..glenview..same thing..

my squirrel story

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 03:21:46 GMT

interesting how some ppl tell me i need to CHANGE next yr in college. they infer that who i am now will get me into trouble or will keep me in a corner of my dorm, antisocial and unhappy. i'll take ur suggestions into consideration, ok? but i will keep the essence of who i am, because i am a wallflower. i grow on the walls and as you walk by i watch. its the best position to be in, from my viewpoint. i'm observing everthing around me all the time.

ok so today, i watched for the first time a squirrel that was TAKING ITS TIME. do u ever notice how squirrels are ALWAYS running around frantically, on some urgent mission? squirrels are like americans: everything is rush rush rush. we rush babies out of their diapers so that our wallets dont become vacant. we rush children into reading and when they are just slightly slower than the rest of the class, they are put into these special help programs. teenagers are rushed into relationships when they can not yet deal with their own emotions. when they do not realize that, yes, ur feelings can and will decieve you. because the heart = consequences...but, back to the squirrel, i saw it sitting, just sitting there in the midst of rotting grass, doing absolutely nothing for the longest time. i even thought for a moment it was dead. so this may sound completely pointless to you, the story of the squirrel. but, i realized that i need to just sit back and take in this time in my life, our teenage years are full of potential and am i just wasting them away? i guess by not appreciating them i am...and i also need to begin to observe myself because my eyes have followed all that is in front of me and now need to look inside.
so, i will try.
cheesy? yeah...sorry

monster houses, barbie, mr.purdy and nutella

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 02:34:40 GMT

i dont understand why some ppl need to exist in all that luxury, i'd get lost in it.

blah blah blah

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 22:13:46 GMT

interesting, observing the way friendships work. when you think a friendship is blossoming, and then the sun spreads its rays and casts a shadow on it..and it's lost, dim and dingy. this cold shoulder freezes me up and i guess its through incidents like these that you realize who's true to you.

went to the art institute for humanities today and it was awesome. im so inspired right now, i want to work with, eat, and breathe paint.

just watch it flow out

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 06:03:25 GMT

im in distressed mode-kinda like depechmode, but not that 80s. i was so sure i knew myself and i could flaunt to others how i wasnt going thru this whole identity crisis that all all other teenagers are going thru-but i was dead wrong. more of in a denial mode-not willing to accept all the changes i've already gone thru and the changes that are rapidly approaching. i suppose i'm like any other human, unwilling to open the doors to change.

i realized something, i tend to find some beauty, something precious in all the ppl that i meet. theres always some amazing trait that i must delve further into with each new person. i just wish i could feel that way about myself, and i realize that i need to be more positive about myself, but its hard with all these beautiful ppl that surround u-both on the inside and out. its these nagging feelings that keep me up at night, that plague me with insomnia. feelings which i can not dispel. i hate the fact that i used to reject any hand lent to me, for some reason the misery, the isolation felt good.

but the worst thing of all is pity. its human nature to feel self-pity, to ask the rhetorical qt-why?? To me, self-pity, has been the most miserable emotion that exists and im trying my best to cleanse myself of it.

for some odd reason it feels good to let it all out in this text-box world. i wonder if the internet will be the same in 50 yrs so i can access all these entries and laugh at myself.